okay so after my last blog or rant or whatever you want to call it i have officially decided...dun.dun.duuuuuuun..

...im going to start doing a weekly blog...

Not quite sure what i will blog about but im gonna do it and you cant stop me XP

but no im thinking maybe i could do manga reviews of manga on MM, anime reviews, comic/manga making like my struggles and triumphs and just random ranting and raveing about whatever i feel like damnit =3=

anyways onto....

Day 1

Okay so im thinking about how i can do this whole manga review; like how to select the mangas that i read, not sure if i want to just do it randomly like go click on a random manga and review it (with the author/artist permission of course) or if mabye have you guys post a link on a blog and it will be in the order of what you guys post in

... not really .sure the one thing i do know is that once my cheap ass gets some money im buying a memory card for this cheap video camera i found and im going to start doing videos on the behind the scenes of kawataro

(if you havent read it go right now)

Like showing all the stages from storyboring/layingout, sketch, tight lineart, and inks and ill post the videos on youtube and put them in that weeks blog so you wont even have to leave this site

random reader: "oh jay how conveient of you i  think i'm going to go and support you"

me: "aww why thank you soo much i swear you guys are soo nice to me"

and with that im going to ask you guys for some help too

1. what would you guys like to see me blog about, anything you guys want to see in particular

&

2. how do you want me to go about doing these manga reviews??

and with that ill see you ppls later

(wait technically i cant really see you ppls later o.0)

okay so today i sat down with the intention on getting the next page of kawataro done and i started off awesome first two panels came awesome imo but as i started inking the next two it hit me.....that feeling where everything you draw sucks, that artist block, the depression that is just there and you have no idea why.

i know most of you know that feeling that you cant explain; its like a wall the stands in your way and prevents you from enjoying art. its been hitting me alot more than usual and i know why; its nothing really to do with the art actually its just my REAL life lol. but im not here just to complain im writing this blog for those who have hit this wall; trust me your not the only one nor will it be the last time you come face to face with this demon. id love to be able to tell you that when you decided to draw a comic/manga you will be happy and have no problems for the rest of you life cause your doing what you love

.....wrong.....

you will have days that make you want to quit all together, you will get pissed at your self cause no matter how hard you try you wont be able to get that panel to look how you want. but the thing that seperates the pros from us is they dont let that stop them (at least this is what i would like to believe XP) take a break, anything to get your mind of drawing, manga, art in general just forget about it all for a short time then make your self sit down and start again cause trust me that day when you can draw all day without a care in the world; that day where everything you draw is gold and you cant imagine yourself doing anything else will come again, as long as you keep drawing.

making comics is hard work so of course its going to take its toll on you; especially cause we are sensetive artist that put our emotions into our work. its F***ing hard using your imagination nonstop. especially when you hit that refresh bar and there are no new fans... it sucks its gonna bring you down but thats when you say f**k it and get back to work, cause if your like me and many of us on MM your not doing this to make millions your not doing this for people you will never meet in your entire life. you are doing it for one reason and one reason only 

you have a story you want to tell so sit down, stress out, get depressed, work your ass of and tell that god damn story that wont leave your brain cause trust me when you are finished no matter how many people you have following you did something, you finished what you thought you would never do. today's doubts will be forgotten by tomorrows pride.

and even if you finish and arent 100% happy with that comic you just finished you know what you have to do sit down and start drawing that new story you thought up cause you will only get better with time each page you pump out gives you more skills

as long as you dont give up you will finish the race

Okay so over the past few years ive noticed i have become a lot more shy then i was, well not really shy but more socially stupid and ive developed a phoibia of talking on phones (stupid i know right) but i just get anxious when the phone rings and its for me i cant really describe it but i know its stupid so my goal is to beat the hell out of this phobia and what better way than to have you guys come with me XD 

So i started a youtube channel a cpl years back as a way to get my art out more but only made a cpl videos before it went dark =3=

but then i got to thinking i could use advantage of youtube for more than just my art. by forcing myself to talk to you guys in my videos im hoping it will help me get over the phone phobia plus it will help me just get more comfortable with just being myself without care what other people think. so not only will i be helping myself with those issues i will also be doing the original intention by getting more people to look at my art and hopefully draw more fans to Kawataro and any other series i put out. yay me im a fricken genious (no your not you dumbass you cant even talk on a phone =3= lol)

so besides all this also wanted to use this blog to talk to the artist of MM. spefically the ones who are feeling down that they arent getting the fans/views/or faves they want. i mean i know how you feel i would get depressed over how little views i get on DA or the fact i only have so many fans on kawataro but after some thought i came to a realization. who gives a f**k if people like my crap or not. im not saying i dont still want them; i do; its just that im not doing this comic for other people. the plain simple truth is im doing this comic and any other releated art releated venture because i love doing it. yeah i wish i could get paid commissions, and be able to get kawataro into the premium teir. but those are dreams, you dont complete achieve your dreams in one night. it takes effort determination and lets face it luck. but just cause you dont have 500+ fans or 10million views doesnt mean your art is worthless. does it make you happy when you finish a piece, do you like the struggle to get the perspective to look just right in a panel. of course you do or else you would be drawing a manga/comic. so my thoughts are just stop worrying so much on other people and just worry about making the best piece of art you can and trust me the fans will come if you keep it up

well thank you for reading this complerley random rant

links:

http://www.youtube.com/user/JUSTanotherMANGAKA

http://www.mangamagazine.net/manga-and-comics/Kawataro/detail-page/2277?lang=en

http://sonofajay.deviantart.com/