The Library Lipogram, or A Thousand Words And Not A Single "E"
- Jul 26, 2012 6:44 AM
So exactly what the title says. If you were wondering, a Lipogram is a story, poem, text, or anything that doesn't use a certain letter. For this short story, i didn't use the letter "e". It's not especially good of a story, but it was certainly a challenge! And i like how it turned out. Here it is:
"Boy, approach my position this instant!" Said a gruff old man in fury, shouting to a young scholar with black books in his hands. That old man was his boss.
"What is it, sir?" John Wilkins, as this young boy was known, stood in front of his boss - Vladimir Highstrum. This boy was of blond hair and puny growth, but big brain. A most brilliant young man, John was. Vladimir was a famous, rich, and importantly - most pompous industrialist in town.
"Your task was to sort all books in my library, was it not?" Vladimir had a quirky hobby - books. Buying thousands upon thousands and without limit. Until that man's doom, books would not stop flowing in that small building of his.
"It was, sir." John humbly laid his words with a bow. "But, your library is far too small! All your books cannot fit!"
"If that is my situation, your task as of now, is to build a big, spacious library, to fit all of my books."
"I will do as you say, sir." Again with a bow, John was quick to go away and start his task. His first inquiry was for humans that would draw a plan for this construction.
"First, I must find a man who will draw a plan for it!" Voicing his thoughts out loud, John was looking all around for a man who would draw his plan. But to no avail. Looking for days, and finding no construction artist who would work for Vladimir.
"Pssst, buddy! You might want to try this building." A shady-looking man flung a brick at John, with writing on it. That writing was a location for a building just as shady as him. With nothing this young scholar could do, John had to go visit that building, thinking it might turn out as a solution to his conundrum.
"Blast. This building IS shady!" With paranoid thoughts, it was nigh to look around. John found his body in a burnt down room and with thirty unfamiliar looks around him. All shady, and all artists.
"This is a most occult group." A tall man stood in front of John. "All of us know of your conundrum.
"Can you...draw a plan for my boss's library?"
"Not I. But two of us can. Moriarty and Watson. And both will do it at no cost of gold."
"But mustn’t I pay?"
"You must. But not in gold..." As his words hit John, paranoia and cold bodily fluids found way to his skin. Grim thoughts also found way, as John was swallowing his saliva.
"You must pay in blood!"
"Blood?! If you...if you say so."John took out his arm, bracing for pain.
"Not yours! Wolf's blood. All of us want to do a ritual."
"Why would you...? Ok. I shall do it!" With a nod, John was quick to go from this occult building.
"Oh, what things I do for my work!" John was now in a hunt, tracking a wolf with nothing but a puny fork. "I'm a scholar, not a man who would kill a wolf and spill his blood!" With slow pacing, John was murmuring, whilst looking for a wolf. "As small as I can find!"
With an hour past, John was a foot from a giant furry wolf. It was nigh to attack.
"Good. And now all I must do is...Oh, I am truly sorry."Thirty two stabs from his fork and to his victim's skin, and an unlucky wolf was torn away from all living things.
"Ha! I did it!" With wolf's blood in a flask, John found his way back to that shady building from two paragraphs back.
"Good. Your wolf's blood is most...satisfying." A short man took John's flask, as Moriarty and Watson brought a plan up to him.
"This plan is for you." Said Moriarty, with Watson watching from a foot away.
"Uh...Thank you?!" Dumbfound, John simply took that plan and found his way out.
As John found his way to Vladimir’s library, a monk was in his way.
"Child, you wish to build again upon Vladimir’s land?"
"I do, why?"
"It has a dark mark upon it! And I can lift it, if you pay..."
"Why do you..."
"You distrust my words?!"
"I do! Now away with you!"
"I shall, but mark my words!"
Placing this monk as a crazy old man, John was quick to find a group who will build his library. But it was not long until two of this group found doom. And two upon two, soon John's group was only two! And just two cannot build a big library.
"You had a warning!" John saw that old monk again.
"Ok, ok. What can I call you, anyway?! And what do you want?!"
"I am monk Moshi. And I want a thousand gold crowns and a two of your socks. Gold is optional."
"If you say so..." Pulling out his socks, John paid monk Moshi. Soon, both stood in front of Vladimir’s library. With a long and boring chant, monk Moshi had torn this villainous mark that was upon it.
"Thank you, monk Moshi."
"Right, right. Call again if you build again." With a smirk, monk Moshi was on his way. It will not last long until John would call on that old monk again, but that story is days away.
"Finally, I can build it!" Joyous as monk Moshi was not in front of him at this hour, John thought of finding a construction group again. And so it was. By his plan, Vladimir’s library was soon built. With no stamina in him, John was slow to call his boss.
"Sir, your big library is built."
"Is it now? Good, my boy! Now, sort my books!"
"Your books? ALL of your books, NOW?" Afraid to think of work, John was simply craving a building of his own, and a box of wood with a pillow upon it
"ALL of my books!" Vladimir hung up...It was starting again.